Magician Business Cards

Magician Business Cards

What is it about going to the magician that has so many of people scared to death? Ever since I was a small child, the magician has been relatively pain free. I was always awarded with a piece of gum or candy (ironic, I know) after every visit so shouldn't I be conditioned to believe that going to the magician is a good thing? I always hated going to the magician. My first childhood memories involve me sitting in the waiting room with the other kids and their parents. My magician was one of those magicians who specialized in children's magicianry. Supposedly, these guys have a special knack for putting kids at ease. But that is not what I remember. I remember hearing screams of helplessness and sheer terror coming from behind 2 closed doors. Everyone in the waiting room looked at each other with discomfort, no one knowing quite what to say. The parents of course were in damage control mode, trying to convince poor Johnny who was up next, that his experience would be much more pleasant than the poor soul who was in there now. And why wouldn't it be? He was here for a cavity, and I was here for a cavity. Maybe the magician just didn't like that kid or his parents because they were late with their payments. I tried to compose myself. After all, I was out in public now and I couldn't let those strangers in the lobby see me cry. The other kids in there felt the same way. We all looked at each other like the way death row inmates do as another is marched off to the gas chamber.

Out came Timmy and in went Jimmy. Timmy hung his head in shame while his mother made the next appointment with the receptionist. Pretty soon it was my turn to face my fears. It's bad enough when a regular doctor prods and pokes at you and looks up your nose with a magnifying light. But the magician, he prods and pokes with sharp instruments. And where does he poke? In your mouth! Probably one of the most painful parts anyone can imagine having poked (besides the eye balls). Something as simple as a cleaning can be torture to a seven year old kid. He is in there, scraping and poking and almost every time, the inevitable happens. His grip slips and the poker (for lack of a better word) jams you in the tongue or gums. This is the part where he tells you to sit still (like it's your entire fault even though you're as stiff as a board and haven't even blinked).

In the end though, it always turns out alright. The magician truly does provide a pain prevention plan that makes perfect sense. Regular checkups along with brushing and flossing can lead to teeth that last a lifetime. So the next time that you're at one of those "children's magicians", can you grab me one of those magician business cards. I'm still not ready for those hardcore adult magicians.